Loving-Kindness Meditation Script

How to do loving-kindness meditation

Repeat the same four short wishes in silence, once for each of five circles.

1. Settle. Sit comfortably, close your eyes or soften your gaze, and take 3 slow breaths.
2. Picture one person. Start with yourself, then bring each person in the script to mind in turn.
3. Repeat the four wishes. Say them silently and slowly, with a pause after each. A round takes about 30 seconds.
4. Move on when the time is up. The tool changes the card and gives a signal. Next and Back work at any moment.
5. Close. Let the phrases go, rest in your breath, and open your eyes.

The tool does the timing, so you can keep your eyes closed. If you would rather set your own length, use the meditation timer, and for other options see all meditation practices.

Loving-kindness meditation script: 5 circles

The 10-minute version gives 2 minutes each to yourself and a loved one, 90 seconds each to a neutral and a difficult person, and 1 minute to all beings, plus 1 minute at each end. The same four wishes repeat in every circle, with "I," "you" or "all beings." The four are the set used on the Greater Good in Action page ^[2].

1. Yourself (2 minutes). Picture yourself as you are today. A hand on your chest is optional. "May I be safe. May I be happy. May I be healthy. May I live with ease."
2. A loved one (2 minutes). Choose a friend, relative, or pet who makes warmth easy. We leave out a romantic partner here because strong feelings can crowd the practice. "May you be safe," and so on.
3. A neutral person (90 seconds). Choose someone you see but have no feelings about, such as a neighbor, a cashier, or a coworker you barely know.
4. A difficult person (90 seconds, optional). Choose someone who mildly irritates you, not the hardest person in your life. You can press Next to skip this circle.
5. All beings (1 minute). Widen the picture to everyone, near and far, known and unknown, yourself included. "May all beings be safe," and so on.

These timings are ours. Sources give no per-circle minutes, so we set them from the length of one round of the phrases. If you lead a group, open "Read it aloud" under the timer for the same circles as one script with pauses. The same circles are on the printable script.

What is metta?

Metta (Pali; Sanskrit maitrī) is a word usually translated as loving-kindness, goodwill, or friendliness. In Buddhist teaching it is the first of the four "divine abidings" (brahmavihāra), followed by compassion, sympathetic joy, and equanimity ^[3].

The oldest text we cite is the Karaniya Metta Sutta (Sn 1.8). In the Amaravati Sangha translation it says: "In gladness and in safety, May all beings be at ease." It compares the attitude to a parent: "Even as a mother protects with her life / Her child, her only child, / So with a boundless heart / Should one cherish all living beings" ^[4]. The sutta has no circles and no list of people to picture in order.

The order comes from the Visuddhimagga, a fifth-century manual by Buddhaghosa. Its ninth chapter, written for meditating monks, says to begin with yourself ("May I be happy and free from suffering"), then a respected teacher, then a very dear friend, then a neutral person, then a hostile person, making the mind "malleable and wieldy" before passing on to the next ^[3]. It says not to begin with a hostile person, because anger rises when one recalls them (§5). The traditional manual also advises against starting with a person of the opposite sex or a dead person, and gives reasons aimed at monks, such as lust arising (§4, §6, §7). We treat those as historical notes and do not apply them to this script.

The five circles adapt that order for modern use. The manual puts a teacher before the dear friend.

The four metta phrases and what to say

The classic four are: May I be safe, May I be happy, May I be healthy, May I live with ease ^[2]. You can swap any of them for a wording that suits you.

One published script says you may use your own words and wishes ^[5]. For the difficult-person circle, a line from the Visuddhimagga helps: "Just as I want to be happy and dread pain, ... so do other beings, too" ^[3]. In short form: just like me, this person wants to be happy.

If the phrases feel false or you feel nothing

That is common. Keep the intention and repeat the words slowly.

The Greater Good in Action page says it may seem "artificial and stilted" to say such things to yourself and that it is okay not to feel loving-kindness in the moment ^[2]. The Wellness Society puts it as: the practice "isn't about forcing certain feelings" ^[6]. The aim is the wish itself, repeated with attention.

In a small trial of 38 self-critical adults, a loving-kindness program reduced self-criticism more than a wait-list did, and the authors called the results preliminary ^[7]. If the first circle is the hard one, try it alone for a few days, with a hand on your chest, then add the others. The self-compassion break is a shorter practice aimed only at yourself.

Difficult person: when to skip this circle

Skip the difficult-person circle until the first three feel easy, and never begin with your hardest relationship.

The Visuddhimagga makes the same point about order: the hostile person comes last, and each step should feel workable before the next ^[3]. A review of 22 randomized trials of kindness-based meditation notes that it "may initially be challenging for some people" ^[1]. Use these rules:

• If you do not want this circle, press Next. Nothing is lost. The timer moves on to all beings.
• If the first three circles still take effort, leave this one for another week.
• If you try it, choose someone who mildly irritates you. One script says to try this only if you feel strong and secure, and to pick someone who is "not necessarily the most difficult person in your life" ^[5].
• If anger or pain rises, stop repeating the phrases, return to your breath for a minute, and go back to the loved-one circle. The manual suggests the same: return to an easier person before going on ^[3].
• If the harm was serious, this exercise is not the place to work on it. Wishing someone well does not excuse what they did, and you do not have to wish them anything.

Short 5-minute loving-kindness meditation

A 5-minute version gives each circle 30 to 60 seconds and runs 5 minutes in total. Choose "5 minutes" in the tool or time it yourself.

One round of the four phrases takes about 30 seconds, so the 5-minute version repeats them 2, 2, 1.5, 1.5, and 1 times. The 10-minute version repeats them 4, 4, 3, 3, and 2 times, and the 15-minute version 6, 6, 4, 5, and 3 times. All seconds are our timing.

Does loving-kindness meditation work?

Studies report more positive emotion, with medium effects, but the research is small and uneven in quality.

A 2015 meta-analysis of 24 studies (1,759 people) found medium effects on daily positive emotions in both randomized and non-randomized studies, and the length of the program did not change the effect ^[8]. A 2014 meta-analysis of 22 randomized trials of kindness-based meditation found moderate drops in self-reported depression (g = −0.61, 95% CI −1.08 to −0.14) and gains in self-compassion (g = 0.45) against passive controls, but rated study quality as low to moderate ^[1].

In a field experiment with 139 working adults, half randomly assigned to start the practice, those who practiced reported more daily positive emotion and, later, more life satisfaction and fewer depressive symptoms ^[9]. In a lab study, even a few minutes raised feelings of connection toward strangers compared with a matched control task ^[10]. Two reviews urge caution. The 2018 one counted only seven randomized trials of compassion-based programs and loving-kindness meditation and asked for more research ^[11]. The 2011 one called the clinical findings preliminary and suggested pairing the practice with established treatments such as cognitive behavioral therapy ^[12].

It is a reasonable practice for warmth toward yourself and others.

Printable loving-kindness script

The printable loving-kindness script fits on one sheet: the four phrases, the five circles with minutes for each length, and the skip rule. Print it free for a group or a class. For a written practice with a similar aim, see gratitude journal prompts. For a script that stays with the breath, see the mindfulness meditation script.

Frequently asked questions